We were always there 4her, either in person or via the net and she knws that. Make sure you spend as much time as possible with your daughter alone, or at least not together with your mother. It is good to know you are not the only one it is a hard thing to talk to anyone about so great to have a place to come and be honest with your feelings ..thank you. should i just let her be with whoever she wants to be with? But as soon as Daddy is home, I really become part of the furniture. what you said makes perfect sense. My daughter doesnt cry when she is with me but she just doesnt want to cuddle or be close. I take care of my son and love him and do the very best I can. Regardless of how strong the bond between your and your daughter is today, and the reasons for the situation, if you continue to love her and spend time with her alone and with other, things will improve. I had the same with my daughter, which happened at maybe 7 or 8 months. I felt so upset, My 18 month baby boy really likes his dad than me. Recently, its really been getting to me. Fertility benefits increase loyalty, productivity, and fulfillment. But doesnt mean that you should just sit and wait! I was already reluctant to leave my son and I cried 30 minutes down the road and every night before I fell asleep missing him. There is simply no replacement for a mother, period. Someone said to no rely on your child to feel loved and valuable, thats easier said than done. It really hurts. He cries when I try to do anything for him and wont look at me. Take heart, dear parents. But I really found some comfort when I found this thread and read about other parents similar experiences. This just isnt what I envisioned my relationship with my daughter to be, I want her to want me, but dont understand why she doesnt. I miss my baby terribly. He now prefers my mom over me and could care less if Im around. First, identify why your baby might be refusing the bottle. Im a stay at home mom so Im with her everyday. But if we can handle it as adults, and give our children both love and space no matter what, I am certain that our long-term relationship AND bother their and our personal development will benefit. his my world!! Hi all. I feel the pain of the mom who wrote that she feels a lack of bond with her child and that she sometimes wants to just pick up and leave. I sometimes wish that I could die and I admit that there are times when I have seen all my competitors as my enemies and I wanted to hurt my own child out of jealousy..But then I would never do that..My relationship with my husband and his family is degrading day by day..And I regret having married him at all even though he is the best husband and dad ever..I dont know what is happening to me!! He always trying to get daddys attention instead. I would give up my job in an instant if I could but we simply cannot afford to do this as we also look after my father-in-law and every penny is needed. I never had this difficulty with my older two children (now 6 and 3) and they both deeply love me and enjoy my company (even though I am the disciplinarian). I dont think putting your whole life in a more stressful state by moving should be your first choice, in case living with your mom works well in all other aspects. My wife dismisses my concerns so Im looking for the reassurance online. But it can take some time to start enjoying the ride ;-) This is apparently common and it is only frustrating when some outsiders try to make you feel bad about it (they usually have no kids or they are judgmental). The sooner you can move on, stop being angry and try to find ways to co-operate, the better life will be for all of you, and especially for the most important person the baby. Babies have a huge radar for love. Im so depressed over this. Our relationship has became better in the past few months and she seems to like me more than before. Some moms return to work just a few weeks after having a baby, while others take up to a year (or longer) of maternity leave. I cant imagine how hard it must be to have lived with this with your daughter for years. It hurts. She is also my miracle child since I have a problem to conceive. thanks all for listening to me & i will take every reply seriously. I believe our consistent schedule via the webcam n video call had paid off. I know its not fun for her and I think that is why she rather remain with her father. As soon as she sees me she crys my mamma and whines and doesnt want him to come near her or even talk to her. But I dont get a look in. Try the sleep and switch. He loves her and often she is so mean that he gets his feelings hurt. Dont have a help in the house because my mil doesnt let me keep one. I just googled and found this website.. and saw I was not alone. Ive been home with her from the beginning. Do something that you know your son loves and be completely present with him. A massage, a warm bath, movie night with your partner: a little downtime goes a long way. But early nappers are often cranky during the hour that precedes bedtime the very hour that you arrive home from work. So I came online, and read this entire thread. I would lay down my life for my son without hesitation. But it is by no means too late. Can a baby NOT like their mom? But she preferred to be cuddled by my mom instead. lying down or the underarm hold). You havent ruined your baby with your sadness. My son is fine with me round anyone else. Thank you and keep your heads up!! I am really glad to see that I am not the only one with this problem. Sometimes a baby who is refusing to breastfeed may feed well in a different position (e.g. she cries for grand mother . there were times that she slept with my caretaker before i got home to take her to our room could it be this? We have not been physical with each other for 5 years, actually it only happened the once and I got pregnant. My 9-month-old daughter has started recently. I think there are several aspects to this. Its absolutely heartbreaking to me. But you say that you gave up on her. If you try to make a young toddler behave properly (i.e. Am a single mum living with my parents. Then, regardless of if she wants to go to dad, grandma or the neighbour later on, you can hopefully rest in the fact that the two of you have had a fun, loving day together. Play lots of games with your daughter. by Margaret e Jacobsen. I sing endless versions of Wheels on the Bus, and a million other things. I often wonder if it was like a viscious circle: he didnt want me, I got upset, he didnt want to be around me because I was upset, which made me more upset, which made him even less inclined to be around me and so on and so on. My mom used to take care of her during the afternoon so I could study. my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. I feel like a bad mom. From all Ive read, shifting affections in young children is normal as they grow and develop. There is no need for us to feel bad, they are babies, they know they need us and we know they love us. Take a bath the three of you, cuddle up together for a nighttime story and go out having fun together. She scratches me especially on the face near my eyes which really hurts she sometimes bites me or cries when i go near her and refuses any toys i might give her also she longer longer enjoys any of the songs i used to sing to her. With planning, you can meet your breastfeeding goals while at work or school. Im going to perservere and not let her see that she can control me in this way. It may not feel like it right this moment but things will get better. I am so happy that my two main men have such a great relationship, but I want to share in it too! When I do leave him he doesnt even notice. I rush home to see her and she cries/moans when she sees me I hold my hands out to her and she clings to whoever she is with at the time. Hi Most likely, your son is going through a phase when he is turning out towards the world. Try to have a lot of skin contact with her. Anyway, Im not writing to give a full update on my situation but instead I wish to respond to your posts. My daughter is constantly wanting my attention and is not happy when im not around. Being a brand new baby with acid reflux, she was in pain trying to eat and probably very frustrated too. Give your girl as much time, love, attention, and body contact as you can. First of all STOP acting bad towards your daughter. I am drained to the point where I Now, today is my sons 2nd birthday and Im delighted beyond words that my son is fully bonded with me and I truly feel like a real mother. If Im the only one home she wants me, but if dads home, its mommy who? This really hurts my feelings since I do everything for her, I want to hold her and play with her so bad but so often she rejects me. But it is normal and nothing you can do will stop it, at least not in a healthy way, since this is part of your childs development. He wont come to me when I hold out my arms, wont play with me on the mat (where we were having a ball only a few hours earlier) and pushes me away when I hold him or cuddle him. So, doing all these these boring things, like putting her to bed, diapering, eating and so on, really should be made as enjoyable as possible. Bonding can start at any time, even at 15 months old, even though it can take a bit longer to establish at that point. My gal is nw 8 1/2 mths . After reading these posts I made sure to remain absolutely calm and neutral and not get teary or upset when he preferred his daddy over me. Or maybe you will visit your baby at their child care provider during your lunch break and breastfeed. Assess your breastfeeding status If your baby is just a few weeks old and you must return to work, you may feel breastfeeding is not yet well established. I even think sometimes grandma secretly enjoys doing this to me. In fact she would scream and cry I will always take her out of her room and try to pacify her. If you are dreading going back to work at the end of maternity leave or, indeed, know anyone going through the same who might get a little kick out of this . Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. Some babies who take a bottle early . 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